Living In USA

American adults move around a great deal and often live far away from their parents. Because they have established their own homes and developed their own lifestyles, their children do not grow up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, as children do in many cultures. Most families have only one, two, or three children close together in age, so there is rarely one child old enough to look after the others. These facts, along with the reality that in modern American families single-parent and dual-career parents are common, have made childcare a vital part of the American scene.

Baby-Sitters
A "sitter" is someone who is hired to care for children for a specific length of time — usually relatively short — while the parents are out for the evening attending a party or taking a class, for example. Sometimes the baby-sitter is also hired for longer periods, perhaps when the parents are away for a weekend. In such cases the sitter is likely to be a mature and motherly woman. For a short period, teenagers, college students, and others (of either sex) are commonly employed on an hourly basis.

From the point of view of convenience, the best sitters are often young people who live in your apartment building or close by in the neighborhood. This gives you a chance to meet the parents and interview the sitter. If an emergency occurs, young sitters can call upon their parents quickly for help. Another advantage is that you do not have to take them far to see them home at night or pay expensive taxi fares. Finally, young people living close by can usually fill in quite readily on short notice or for short periods of time.

In an apartment house you can ask the superintendent for permission to post a notice for a baby-sitter by the mailboxes. This is often the best way to find out if there is anyone in the building who is interested in baby-sitting. Retired people as well as students are often glad to earn a little money in this way.

An excellent source for baby-sitters is a nearby college or university. Students frequently want to earn extra money in their spare time. The best procedure is to go to the school before you need a sitter and ask if you can post an advertisement on bulletin boards or put an ad in the student-run newspaper. With any luck, you might find one or two students who speak your own language.

The disadvantage of using students is that they are often busy in the evenings, they are gone during their holidays, and sometimes they bring along their friends. The advantage is that they are less expensive than anyone from an agency and, being young, are likely to be more fun for your children.

Other sources could be the bulletin board of the local YWCA or the Girl Scouts, who sometimes organize baby-sitting services. Some scout troops train older girls, who earn service credits in this way. They are a particularly good possibility if you want someone to remain indoors and play with the children. Since they are young themselves, you might not want to give them outside responsibility such as taking children through traffic.

As you make friends, don't hesitate to ask if their teenagers would like to baby-sit. Often they are delighted. Baby-sitting is a popular occupation for teenagers, especially girls, so do not be shy about asking them whether or not they are available. Most mothers try to line up three or four sitters whom they (and the children) get to know and like. In this way they have alternate numbers to call when their favorite baby-sitter is not available.

A young couple with children, struggling along on a tight budget — especially students — often work out an exchange agreement with another couple, sitting for each other's children a certain number of hours or evenings a week. The mothers exchange daytime hours as well, giving each other occasional or regular free afternoons for shopping, working parttime, taking classes, going to the hairdresser, or visiting friends.

Rates vary widely by location and age — less money for teenagers than for mature women, for example. You pay more for daytime hours than the period after children are in bed until midnight. After that, rates may go up again. You pay more, of course, if you have several children or if the job includes preparing a meal. Many sitters don't want to cook and you should not expect it, although feeding the children meals that you have prepared is normally acceptable.

If you have a small baby and want someone older and more experienced than a student, look under "Nannies" or "Baby-sitting Services" in the Yellow Pages. If you employ the same person regularly for even a few hours per month, you must pay Social Security taxes (see below) unless you get her through an agency. In that case the agency will do the paperwork for you.

Day-Care Centers
Day-care centers range from a stay-at-home mom (or dad!) who take in a small number of other children during the day to make extra money, to large commercial enterprises. Many states license day-care centers, and it is best to become familiar with the licensing criteria in your state so you know what it entails. Unfortunately, in many cases, licensure is only a bare minimum of declarations by the provider, so do not infer that a licensed center has been inspected or its staff evaluated. There are also private associations that have higher standards, and accredit centers that meet those standards. The National Association for the Education of Young Children (www.naeyc.org/), the Network of Child Care Resource and Referral (www.nccrra.org/), and Child Care Aware (www.childcareware.org/) are all excellent resources. Your employer and coworkers may also have suggestions. In the end, personal referrals of satisfied parents may be the most reliable way to choose. Many religious institutions run day-care centers during the week, as do YMCAs and YWCAs. Parents need not be members to enroll their children. Some list members who like to baby-sit; some have set up group baby-sitting for certain afternoons during the week so that mothers can shop or attend to other necessities. Most religious institutions also have nurseries and baby-sitting services on Sunday (or Saturday) mornings so that parents can attend services. There is usually no charge — or only a nominal one — for this service.

Public or private day-care centers and neighborhood centers are another good resource in your community. They may be advertised in the local newspaper, but there is such a shortage of good day-care centers that frequently one must learn of them by asking neighbors and acquaintances. It may be necessary to put your child on a waiting list, so it is never too early to inquire. A note of warning: never choose a daycare center or nursery school without checking it out carefully and obtaining references or personal recommendations from friends or colleagues.